If I had lots and lots of money, this is what I would do all the time. Seriously. Check it out if you're interested in global volunteering.

Clarke's Three Laws

Gulag

Hanlon's Razor

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Did you know that Lady Godiva's ride through the streets was also the beginning of the phrase "peeping tom". She told everyone to get in their houses and shut the windows and doors. They did so in order that she might help them from being taxed by her husband. However, one lucky soul decided to 'peep', and this person was supposedly struck blind.

Epic Failure.

Murphy's Law

Terrible Movies--Here are a few horrible movies I've watched and enjoyed to some extent.

Pterodactyl
Dinocroc
Snakeheads
The Curse of the Komodo
The Librarian
Adventures of Young Van Helsing

They are all pretty much B movies, but still...kind of amusing in their own bad way.

Check out the Olympic medal count history. It's pretty cool.

Failure (fail, phail or flop) in general refers to the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective. It may be viewed as the opposite of success. Product failure ranges from failure to sell the product to fracture of the product, in the worst cases leading to personal injury, the province of forensic engineering. (according to wikipedia)

Fail.

I just want to be happy.

Wanna go to Antarctica? I know I sure do. However, the cost of such an awesome trip (at a minimum) is around $3,500. That's just for the trip itself. That doesn't include an airline ticket round trip to Argentina. I'd really like to go someday. Anyone else want to go? It'll be fun!

Inefficiency plagues us all. It is one of my biggest pet peeves. I learned while working at Scoops that it's okay to take things into your own hands. If you see a problem at work, at home, wherever, it's okay to fix it! Being a new and young employee at the time, I saw problems and did not fix them. One of my co-workers saw a problem and took it into her own hands to fix it. That was such a great lesson for me to learn. Though it may seem simply or obvious to some of you, this was not so for me until that day. Since then, I have taken things that I see as a problem into my own hands to make them better. Documents at one of my offices are more automated. Scoops kept up with (and still keeps up with to this day I hope) a list of drinks and recipes so no one has to ask over and over. The labels at the shelter are now laminated so they can be cleaned with water without replacing them every week or two weeks. These are simple things that make life easier. I cannot stand such problems when there are easy ways to fix them. Life would be so much better if things were done quickly and efficiently. Here's my only problem with my plan. The faster things get done, the more free time there is right? Wrong. The faster you get it done, the more work gets piled on. There has to be a balance in here somewhere.

For those who don't know the plagues of Egypt or those who have forgotten...here they are according to Wikipedia:
The plagues as they appear in the Bible are:

1. (Exodus 7:14-25) rivers and other water sources turned to blood killing all fish and other water life. (Dam)
2. (Exodus 7:26-8:11) amphibians (commonly believed to be frogs) (Tsfardeia)
3. (Exodus 8:12-15) lice or gnats (Kinim)
4. (Exodus 8:16-28) beasts or flies[2] (Arov)
5. (Exodus 9:1-7) disease on livestock (Dever)
6. (Exodus 9:8-12) unhealable boils (Shkhin)
7. (Exodus 9:13-35) hail mixed with fire (Barad)
8. (Exodus 10:1-20) locusts (Arbeh)
9. (Exodus 10:21-29) darkness (Choshech)
10. (Exodus 11:1-12:36) death of the first-born of all Egyptian families. (Makat Bechorot)

PS. Dinoflagellate!

I found this little tid-bit about the Italian--Sicilian Mafia on Wikipedia. How curious.

Ten Commandments

In November 2007 Sicilian police reported to have found a list of "Ten Commandments" in the hideout of mafia boss Salvatore Lo Piccolo. Similar to the Biblical Ten Commandments, they are thought to be a guideline on how to be a good, respectful honorable mafioso. The commandments are as follows:[22]

1. No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.
2. Never look at the wives of friends.
3. Never be seen with cops.
4. Don't go to pubs and clubs.
5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty - even if your wife's about to give birth.
6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.
7. Wives must be treated with respect.
8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.
9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.
10. People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.

If you asked the wind when he laughed the most, would he tell it was when he tickled through the trees' new Spring leaves? And if you asked the trees when they were the most satisfied, would they tell you it was when they were inebriated with the waters of the earth during the hot Summer months? And would the waters of the earth tell you they were the most sad when the trees cried their leafy tears to the earth as Fall progressed? And would the earth be at her coziest protected from the bitter wind by a blanket of snow in the midst of Winter? I do not know. I do not know. I do not know.

Bigfoot has been found!

Bigfoot, Big Foot, Sasquatch, call him what you will; he has been found in GA! Get excited. It's probably a hoax, but you never know! At the very least it's amusing and intriguing.

Want a puppy or kitty?

If you're like me, you love animals. I have been volunteering at the local animal control/animal shelter, and it has been eye-opening. I've really learned a lot about taking care of animals and just how many animals come into our one shelter on a daily basis. It's phenomenal how many dogs and cats are in the world. It's also amazing how many of these animals get adopted into (hopefully) loving homes. However, this is not a 'no kill' shelter. This means when there isn't enough room, they have to euthanize some of the animals. They generally do this once a week, and they hate it, and I hate it. So what's the point? My point to you is to check a local animal shelter if you want to adopt an animal before you go to a pet store or breeder. If you know exactly what you want, then maybe you'll have to go to a breeder, but check an animal shelter first. Then be sure that you've thought about what you are getting yourself into. These animals are adorable when they are young; we all know that. However, they will grow into dogs and cats and will be a dog or a cat longer than a puppy or a kitten. It's not a year commitment; it's a life commitment to take care of the animal. Once you have your pet, spay or neuter it, get it micro-chipped, and have fun. Just use your brain. I hate when we have animals that come in that are just abandoned or even worse surrendered by their owners. Don't let an animal down. They love and trust you in their innocence.

I have so much to offer.

I just watched a Zaxby's commercial for their new Nibbler snack, and they're really good. I'm not overly hungry; it just looked tasty. I had an interview today with SeaChem. We're watching the Olympics, and I'm sleepy. I was worried about the interview I guess 'cause in my dream I was with Kuester, Liz, and Lyd, and I kept telling them I had to leave so I could get enough sleep for my interview. We were at Steph's apt, and I had driven Liz and Lyd. They all wanted to go clubbing, but I just had to get back. It was special. In other news, check out Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal.

It's official--ticks are God's grossest creation.